Alex - Video Diary Entry
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It’s nice to finally be able to get a moment to do a diary entry. I’ve been busy
as hell, and nothing sticks in my head right now, so I’m just going to try to catch
up. There have been a lot of things in the past few months that have happened where I said
to myself, “gee, there’s something for the diary”, but for the most part
it’s good that I didn’t put them down as they were at least in one case a
totally vitriolic rant about the scumsucking, lying, venal cunt who screwed one of my
bands out of some money at a certain club that, unfortunately, I’ll have to play at
again. Suffice it to say, this piece of dogshit will get a large piece of my opinion
shoved very far up his ass as soon as this certain gig is over and whatever pittance this
slimeball deems fit to hand over is duly delivered. Take it from me—Showbiz is an
ugly trade. Sometimes I wish I had taken my father’s advice and taken the civil
service exam right straight out of college. But I am not a Morning Person and would
probably never last at, say, the Parks Department, or the County Assessor’s Office. I
have never had the knack of running a fiefdom and coming down on hardworking honest folks
like you and me. This fuckhead I’m talking about has all the qualities you’d
find in a meter maid or a loan officer, so perhaps he’s really found his niche
booking a club. But perhaps I’ll bring along an application for the civ test, so this
asshole can at least know that there’s something for him out there suitable for his
temperament. I can see the exchange going something like this: “Hey you guys were
great! You had 60 people paid minus the 70/30 split minus production costs. Plus you guys
drank $106.00 worth of tequila. Here’s $19.75”. To which I will say “Holy
jumping George! Thanks a lot, pal! We LOVED playing here tonight! By the way, do you
remember me from last spring? Probably not but I remember you and I brought along an
application for the Civil Service Exam. I’ll bet with your intelligence and
experience you could easily get a position peeling gum up off the sidewalk. You and your
club obviously need this money a lot more than us, so why don’t you keep the $19.75
and use it towards your application fee? Either that or shove it up your ass?”
But this will not be that kind of ugly submission. No. I’m feeling fine and light
today. Last night I got to do a gig with Dave Driewitz and Claude Coleman at The Delancey,
and it was fucking stellar. We fucked just about everything up, but it was like a
blitzkrieg. The shit was Up and Loud, and my broken left hand didn’t even hurt. Those
guys are real pros and know a thing or two about the business of Rock And Roll. Kevin
O’Day was in town with Anders Osborne and Magnetic Ear, who played after us, and he
sat in on the F-bowl tune My Money and completely kicked its ass. I thought I’d never
want to hear that shit again but it was worth it that one time. Maybe we’ll play it
again in about five years.
Other shit that’s been happening is the Tin Men just played a wedding in Malibu, CA
last weekend in the midst of sheer opulence. O.K., so we had to play a Billy Joel song and
Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer”, but after we got that shit out of the way we
kicked their asses. The sound company, in their inestimable competence, forgot to bring a
guitar amplifier (although I’m sure they charged the family for it), but that
didn’t matter. The guests were, for the most part, completely bewildered and
transfixed. I don’t think what the Tin Men bring is available at all in Phoenix, AZ,
or in the rack at the register at any Starbucks. The role of the Tin Men is to Confuse and
Enlighten. We achieved that rather handily.
So. The new website is coming along pretty good. I’ll have the paypal and cdbaby shit
going soon, as well as some more pictures. Maybe even some video. The guy who’s
helping me with all this sent me an e-mail today to let me know that he’s putting the
software I need to run this thing myself in the mail today. That means I’ll be just
about 100% self-sufficient until something goes wrong, as it inevitably will. Drop me a
line if you’ve got any suggestions or problems.
Not too much happening in July except Dave, Claude and myself going up to Woodstock to
open for the Subdudes and Buckwheat Zydeco on the 15th and 16th (see “shows” for
details), and some sort of aggregation to perform at John and Peter’s in New Hope, PA
on the 23rd. August will feature tours by the Tin Men and 007 in the Northeast. Also the
next New Orleans sojourn will be in September. Stay tuned for details.
That’s about it. I’ll try to have something more entertaining next time, but
I’m not making any promises.
06.29.2005